Standing on the Threshold of a House Divided
by ilovetvalot
Summary: JJ/Hotch Two shot...My interpretation of what could have happenened between JJ and Hotch in the light of Emily's "death".
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N - Hello. We have exactly **__**EIGHT**__** days left to NOMINATE your favorite authors and stories in the second annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards hosted by "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Random drawings for TWO $10.00 Amazon gift cards will be given to two lucky nominators. To be considered eligible, all you have to do is fill out a ballot in ten categories or more. Winners will be announced October 16, 2011! So **__**PLEASE**__**, take a trip to the forum and grab those ballots!**_

_**Also, sign-ups for the Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic exchange are up and running at the forum. Last year was super successful and we hope this year will be equally so. You have until October 31, 2011 to sign up at the forum. Details for both events are located there! Private message us with any questions!**_

_**And don't forget to friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" on Facebook. We've got a huge collection of talented authors and readers alike just waiting to chat.**_

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**Standing Upon the Threshold of a House Divided**

**Chapter One**

Standing on the darkened porch of Aaron Hotchner's townhouse was not exactly where Jennifer Jareau had anticipated being when her day had began.

It had been her plan to settle in on her worn couch with a good glass of wine and an even better book. It wasn't often that she was allowed any sort of down time, but this was Will's weekend with their son and she, remarkably, had caught up on all the little household chores that needed doing during the week.

It should have been a happy day followed by a relaxed evening in. Of course, she knew what the saying was about the best laid plans and all that drivel.

Staring at the small buzzer, she inhaled deeply. She knew this really wasn't her place to interfere, but she felt at least partially responsible for Hotch's current predicament. Not that the honorable man was allowing her to share in the burden of blame the team was intent to place on his broad shoulders for the deception regarding Emily Prentiss' alleged death.

No, he was wholeheartedly determined to keep her out of it, especially after witnessing the team's collective reaction to her "resurrection". In fact, she'd been ordered to keep her mouth shut in no uncertain terms. Noble, yes. But infinitely stupid.

Stubborn, thy name is Aaron Hotchner.

And after two weeks of watching Morgan give their Unit Chief the cold shoulder, watching Reid's betrayed eyes virtually skewering the solemn man every time they were in the same vicinity and enduring David Rossi's disappointed head shakes, she'd had enough. The only people even willing to give Aaron Hotchner the time of day were the woman he'd been protecting and their technical analyst, who had, in her typical amazing style, chosen to look at the glass as half full. After all, Emily Prentiss was alive and well, amidst them again. Penelope Garcia was Pollyanna incarnate, and they all knew that she was bound and determined to see the sunny side of life even if it sent the rest of them to an early grace.

And then, finally, there was her. The one person that had been a party to the entire truth. The person that knew just exactly how much living a lie had cost Aaron Hotchner. The one person that couldn't bear to watch someone as decent and honest as Hotch be persecuted for something far beyond his control.

Lifting her hand, she jabbed the doorbell decisively, waiting impatiently as the cool fall breeze whipped around her legs. "C'mon," she muttered to herself, willing Hotch to appear as a brisk wind sent a chill through her. "I know you're here," she murmured to herself, glancing at his parked sedan in the driveway.

Raising her hand to ring the bell again, she paused as the door opened. Meeting Aaron Hotchner's tired eyes, she couldn't help but notice how the lines of strain around his mouth seemed somehow harsher in the darkened foyer.

"JJ?" Aaron frowned, widening the door and motioning her inside. "Do we have a case? My phone didn't ring," he said in confusion, glancing toward the cell phone resting on the mahogany entrance table.

"No," JJ denied quickly, shaking her head as she stepped across the threshold into the much warmer hallway. "Nothing like that," she added as she smiled. "Will has Henry this weekend and I wanted to check on you."

"Check on me?" Hotch echoed softly, gesturing her into the living room. "Why would you think you needed to do that?" he asked evenly, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Wanting to test my profiling skills already?" JJ teased lightly as she sat down on the black leather couch and stared at him across the room. "You know I'm a novice still."

"Very funny," Hotch said with a small rueful grin, his head tilting ever so slightly to the right. "The rules didn't change while you were away. No profiling each other."

"Okay," she agreed, watching as he sat down on the other end of the sofa. "I guess I wanted to make sure that you were okay. It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks."

"I'm fine, JJ," Hotch forced himself to say, ignoring the objections that formed so quickly in his mind. "We both knew that the team would need someone to blame and I always knew that person was going to be me. I was prepared for the fallout."

"You weren't the only one responsible for the decisions that got made, Hotch," JJ reminded him softly. "If you recall, I shared in the duplicity, too."

"And there's absolutely no reason the rest of the team needs to know that," Hotch said stiffly, his hands fisting on his knees as he stared into the cold fireplace on the opposite side of the room.

Watching his face, illuminated by the single lamp burning in the living room, JJ sighed. Aristocratically handsome, Aaron Hotchner was the vision of what every girl dreamed of finding. Honest, steadfast, loyal...they were all adjectives that could be used to define the man she stared at. Of course, headstrong, defensive, and infuriating to the point of madness were fair descriptors, too. And currently they were the qualities driving her to the brink of insanity. "This is nuts, Hotch," JJ sighed. "The team deserves to know that you weren't the one behind the decision to keep our team in the dark. I was. Or, more specifically, the state department was. You were only doing your job. We both were. If you'd just let me talk..."

"Absolutely not," Hotch said, his denial immediate and forceful, his dark eyes narrowing as he leaned forward.

"Hotch...Aaron," JJ began, scooting closer to him on the couch as she reached a tentative hand out to rest on his wrist, "You are not responsible for the choice Emily made. And I'm not saying that we should let the team blame her, but you could at least let me share in the..."

"The what, JJ? The frigid stares...the icy silences? There's no point in both of us enduring it. Let them believe what they need to believe. Eventually they'll accept the choice I made."

"And allow them to make your life hell in the interim?" JJ questioned, frustration leaking into her tone as she shook her head. "Jesus, Aaron, you were doing what you had to do...what you were ordered to do to protect Emily! They need to know that."

"No, they don't," Hotch said softly, shaking his dark head decisively. "I'm Unit Chief, JJ. The buck begins and ends with me. Success or failure, it's on my head. I accepted that when I stepped into Gideon's shoes all those years ago."

"You didn't sign on to be the team's resident scapegoat," JJ objected, her fingers tightening around the warm flesh of Aaron's wrist, silently willing him to accept what comfort she could offer. "It isn't fair," she muttered.

Turning his head, Aaron smiled grimly. "Life isn't fair, JJ. You know that as well as I do."

"You don't need to protect me," JJ whispered, her eyes boring into his. "I'm as culpable as you were in cultivating the charade of Emily's so-called death. Let me bear some of the burden."

"No."

Hearing the finality in that single word, JJ grimaced. God, she knew that tone well...that deep timbre that resonated in his voice when he decided to doggedly dig in his heels about something. Usually she admired that strong willed resolution. Of course, conversely, it usually wasn't directed at her.

"Please, Aaron," JJ pled, needing to make one last ditch effort.

"Why would I do that?" Hotch asked, meeting her eyes. "I worked for months with Rossi concocting a way to bring you back to us. Do you think I want to watch them look at you the way they see me? What possible purpose could telling them about what you knew serve? So they could have two people to blame rather than one? No. Absolutely not. I won't allow you to put yourself through that."

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_**WHETHER YOU READ OR WRITE, PLEASE REMEMBER TO CAST YOUR NOMINATIONS FOR YOUR FAVORITE STORIES AND AUTHORS! EVERY OPINION COUNTS AND IS DEEPLY APPRECIATED!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N - Hello. We have exactly **__**SEVEN**__** days left to NOMINATE your favorite authors and stories in the second annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards hosted by "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Random drawings for TWO $10.00 Amazon gift cards will be given to two lucky nominators. To be considered eligible, all you have to do is fill out a ballot in ten categories or more. Winners will be announced October 16, 2011! So **__**PLEASE**__**, take a trip to the forum and grab those ballots!**_

_**Also, sign-ups for the Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic exchange are up and running at the forum. Last year was super successful and we hope this year will be equally so. You have until October 31, 2011 to sign up at the forum. Details for both events are located there! Private message us with any questions!**_

_**And don't forget to friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" on Facebook. We've got a huge collection of talented authors and readers alike just waiting to chat.**_

* * *

**Standing Upon the Threshold of a House Divided**

**Chapter Two**

"Shouldn't that be my decision?" she asked unhappily.

"JJ," Hotch murmured, bowing his head for a moment as he turned his hand to grasp hers. "I appreciate your offer more than you know. But I don't need you to serve yourself up as a sacrificial lamb. I'm more than capable of handling this."

"You're letting guilt eat you alive, Hotch," JJ shook her head, tightening her fingers around his hand as she settled against the pillow backed couch. "Do you think I don't see that?"

Exhaling a heavy breath, Hotch closed his eyes, the weight of the choices he'd made settling heavily on his soul. "Because they aren't wrong, JJ. I did betray the team's trust. You didn't have a choice. You were on a gag order from State. But, I wasn't. I could have told them."

Frowning, JJ shook her head. "Sure, you could have. And, consequently, you would have risked Emily's life and security, not to mention the safety of every member of the team should Doyle have gotten wind of it. We both know that man would have done anything he could to hurt Emily as it was. We didn't have any options other than subterfuge," she insisted vehemently. Damn it, why did this man persist in blaming himself?

Of course, she wouldn't have recognized him any other way. His deep seated integrity had been one of the first attributes that had attracted her to him. Unfortunately, that characteristic was also going to be his downfall if she couldn't convince him to at least share the burden of responsibility, if only privately.

Leaning his head back against the leather cushion behind him, Aaron offered JJ a sidelong glance. "When exactly did you appoint yourself my guardian? I don't recall that being written into your new contract," he offered with a slight smile.

"I made an addendum," she remarked, leaning back beside him, their shoulders touching as the fingers of their hands laced together.

"Guess I should have read the fine print," he murmured, the silence of his house amplified now. Of all the nights for Jack to have a sleepover...it would be the one evening when he felt like he needed a miniature human shield to hold the feelings he'd always had for this woman at bay.

"I don't like this," JJ whispered, her lips tightening. "I feel like I'm standing on the threshold of a house divided and all it would take to unite us is the truth."

"Trust me, JJ," Hotch replied gently, sweeping his thumb against her palm. "The truth would only bring the walls crumbling down. The foundation was always built on a lie. Leave it alone, JJ."

"Don't you see that if all we're standing above is lies, the walls are doomed to fall anyway. At least if we told them the truth, maybe we could manage the destruction."

"I can manage as it is, JJ. Eventually, Emily will be able to talk about what happened. No one is pushing her for answers right now because they're all sensitive to the trauma she endured taking down Doyle. When she's ready to talk to the team and give them more details, it'll become clear that I was acting in the best interest of the whole unit. Until then..."

"...until then, you get punished on a daily basis for something you had no control over," JJ finished bitterly, a deep sigh escaping her.

"Until then, we wait," Hotch countered easily, squeezing her hand again. "We do our jobs. And we focus on doing whatever we can to ease Emily back into things."

"I know none of this is Emily's fault," JJ replied, shifting uncomfortably, "And I'd never do anything to jeopardize her recovery, but you can't blame me for wanting the others to know that you aren't at fault. You...hell, both of us, were doing what she requested."

"And one day, Emily will tell them that. In the meantime, regardless of whether our house stands on a foundation of truth or lies, it needs repair. That's what we need to concentrate on now. Emily and the unit as a whole."

"Why do you have to be so damned selfless?" JJ asked in exasperation, turning to face him on the couch.

"Because when I needed all of you, you were there. Without any questions, without being asked...you were all there," Hotch answered softly, the honesty evident in his voice. "I owe it to them. To you. And you have to let me do it."

"So this is penance," JJ replied, her comment a statement of fact rather than a question.

"If that's how you choose to see it." Hotch shrugged as he stretched his legs out in front of him, his thigh pressing against her kneecap. "All I know is that I won't see this team divided any more than it already is. The first steps toward the future have been taken. Emily's back. You're home. In time, the others will forgive me. At least, I hope they will."

Meeting his somber dark eyes, JJ lifted her hand to lightly touch Hotch's cheek. "I understand what you're doing, but I think it was Abraham Lincoln that said a housed divided against itself cannot stand."

"And Ghandi said that for unity to be real it must stand the severest strain without breaking. This is my test, JJ. You have to let me do this."

Dropping her hand, JJ nodded slowly. "You're the boss," she assented reluctantly, getting slowly to her feet.

"Last time I check anyway," Hotch said ruefully, rising to stand in front of her. "Although, it's entirely possible that Morgan may orchestrate a mutiny any day now."

"Morgan's an idiot," JJ muttered, her eyes narrowing again as she remembered the latest stunt that their teammate had subjected them to. "Garcia's the only one that could pull it off anyway." Lifting her eyes to his, JJ whispered, "Just know that I'm here, Hotch. You don't have to suffer in silence. As you already are aware, evidently I'm pretty good at keeping a secret."

Shaking his head gravely, Hotch bowed his head. "Pretty bad when the two moral compasses have been reduced to a life of secrets and lies, huh?"

Taking the half step forward it took to reach him, JJ wrapped her arms around Hotch's neck. "There's more to both of us than that and I know you realize that," she said against his stubbled cheek. "I'm proud to call you my friend, Aaron."

His arms embraced her automatically, constricting tightly as her scent surrounded him. "That goes both ways, JJ," he whispered into her silky hair.

She wasn't sure how long they stood there like that, the warmth of two bodies holding each other offering a gentle balm to both their battered spirits. But as he finally stepped back and she looked into his unreadable eyes, she only knew that it felt like the most natural thing in the world to allow her lips to meet his for a brief moment.

She wasn't altogether certain whether she was trying to soothe or tempt him, but in those few charged moments she realized that whether the team stood united or divided, she now knew without reservation whose side she'd forever be standing on...The principled man that put the needs of everyone else above his own.

Slowly stepping backward, JJ inhaled deeply. "I'll keep your secret, Aaron," she whispered. "As many of them as you need to share," she offered, squeezing his hand one last time before turning to leave.

"JJ?"

Turning at the door, she met his gaze. "Yes?"

"Thank you," Aaron replied huskily, watching her smile. "For everything."

Nodding once before she allowed her mouth to overwhelm her common sense, JJ quickly slid out the front door, closing it swiftly behind her. Inhaling the crisp fall air as she hurried toward her own car, she touched her still tingling lips.

Hopefully the walls would hold around her unit, allowing the structure to survive.

The walls around her heart, however...those didn't stand a chance against Aaron Hotchner.

_**Finis**_

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